toodomforyou:

sleepwithgiggli:

callmeithaca:

why this kind of message will never work

Hello!

So you’re a submissive. Cool, that’s great, do whatever makes you feel good. So you wanna get bossed around. Cool, that’s great. But you want it right now. You want to skip getting to know a potential dominant partner, either because you’re lazy or you don’t realize how super unsafe it is for both people to launch directly into that sort of thing.

That’s where it gets uncool.

So you message a complete stranger (please note “not following each other”), you bang out a typical message, you send it, and you expect a response within the hour, apparently, even though by that point I was long offline. Not only that, but you somehow expect me to respond positively to what is, in essence, “HELLO STRANGER. I AM HORNY. PLEASE MISTRESS TELL ME WHAT TO DO.”

1) it’s in my FAQ, which this person didn’t read, that I don’t like that.

2) it’s basic human decency to assume people don’t like that.

3) the irony of “shy and submissive” contrasted with message tone.

4) they don’t have an age listed in their bio, which you better believe I did call them out over. Also please note the lack of avatar, which is something that raises a red flag for me as well.

Don’t do this. Not only is it incredibly rude, it’s unsafe.

Also: I feel low key kinda gross for putting this person on blast and may take this post down later if the guilt wins.

Please don’t feel guilty about putting this guy on blast! (Personally, I wouldn’t have hidden his name.)

This is exactly the same kind of behaviour as those dumbinants who message subs and make demands of them (“look into this spiral, I am your master, now send me nudes”), as well as the guys who send dick pics as their first message.

Just because they identify as a submissive, doesn’t absolve them of the appropriate consequences for acting like a creep. They are being pushy and selfish, and putting them on blast is an appropriate response. 

Maybe there should be TooSubForYou site like @toodomforyou but for subs. Because these guys are really common. 

Both of these messages really hit the nail on the head. This behavior isn’t acceptable from Doms OR subs. Stop trying to push your fantasies onto other people without their consent.

-SD

I will put an addendum on here, because some people (not me, but I’ve seen blogs that do it) are cool to roleplay with random people! They usually invite messaging in their descriptions and will negotiate terms and shit through IM or private asks! That does NOT mean that you can message people that aren’t inviting ransoms and expect them to play along too, though. The above comments explain that better than I could have. 💙