Living under control
No I’m not talking about the loving care of a Dominant. I’m talking about the control of an abuser.
My husband spent years slowly eroding all my confidence, he started by making me feel that every cent that was spent was for the “wrong reason” that somehow I was using funds for my own self rather than the family.
I would ask him to go out socially with my friends and that was never an option however his friends there was an expectation that we would go no matter the situation. I had been a very social person.
He began to bad talk my family, and actually succeeded in making me choose him over them.
We stopped going out socially, I was not able to see friends or family. I was no longer permitted to go to church.
If I decided to try and stand up to him, I received the silent treatment in the beginning it was only maybe for a day or two as our relationship continued it was nothing to go weeks and at times months without any communication.
The name calling began shortly after, and was cutting like a knife was being thrust into me.
Sex was an expectation and I was even told that if I didn’t give him sex that it was what put him in a bad mood, that for him to be in a good mood and treat me well, it was only right that I should give him sex.
He gained control of all our finances, and every single time things went bad in some way, it was my fault for not being interested or willing to help.
I told him that I was an abused wife, his reaction was that he had never laid a hand on me, that he had never struck me and that no one could ever love me as much as he loved me, that he had only ever wanted what is right for me and that he loves me….. Apparently grabbing and shaking is not abuse, nor verbal, or financial control.
Did he ever hit me, no, did I feel safe NO. Did I shut down and withdraw from not only him but the world…. YES.
If any of these things are happening to you, this is abuse. ”I love you” at times can come from the most dangerous source of all.
BOOST. This is what psychological abuse looks like.
SubbyLittleKitten 