Have you ever made a mistake during play & not made amends to your sub? I endured blisters on my thighs from hot wax, & I don’t feel properly cared for. The wax fell fast from the flame. It sizzled & blisters appeared almost immediately. While He did give me his Maderma cream, He’s basically brushed what happened off. I asked him to research the mistake & He hasn’t bc he blames the candles. I’m out of town & I sent him pics but no response to them so I stopped bringing it up.

sadisticgames:

I have fucked up innumerable times in every aspect of my life. 

Looking back, I like to think I’ve owned up to and learned from each mistake. 

Sometimes, especially when I was first getting into kink, that was difficult. 

I was the Dominant, I had to have all the answers, to do everything right the first time, to never do anything that could make the sub question my competence. 

Such a load of crap, and I’m glad that’s a lesson I learned quickly. 

It sounds like your partner hasn’t learned that lesson yet. Likely they’re embarrassed, feeling like their image of the dominant is shattered, and needs a wake up call. 

Sure, could have been the wrong candles. But that’s why you purchase candles for wax play that are designed to melt at a much lower temperature. If you do play with a candle you’ve just found somewhere, you test it on the back of your hand ‘before’ you use it on your sub. 

Mistakes were clearly made, and more will be made in the future, no matter how much research you do. But own those mistakes and learn from them. 

Accept that you’re human, your partner is human, research, play better safe than sorry, and ideally you’ll both have a good time despite the occasional oops.