You seem so open about showing your emotion and even “weakness” (tho not really weakness, but some people think) at times. How to I get my Daddy to open to me like that he is so closed up and wants to always handle his emotions himself. We’re 19 if that matters.

amysubmits:

pleasurewhore:

instructor144:

It matters a lot. Young Dominants – hell, young men in general – have this idea that showing emotional vulnerability is “weakness.” Dominants in particular seem to have a deep, abiding fear of appearing “weak” in front of their submissives. And not completely without cause: some submissives, seeing their rock and their safe place showing emotional vulnerability in front of them, can be shaken to their core and scared shitless. I’ve known a couple of girls along the way who reacted that way. They didn’t last.

Now, what is it that’s going to teach him to be comfortable enough inside his Domly skin to be emotionally vulnerable and open? “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn. My God, how you learn.” No other way. And in the interim, when he has those occasional moment of emotional vulnerability, you remain present and you remain submissive, and over time, with luck, he’ll learn that it’s OK for a Dominant to be human.

^ This is what I consider the mark of a MAN. Boys can be 18 or 78, but being a man (to me) means embracing all of the parts of yourself, including your emotions, and refusing to allow that to diminish your sense of self. It’s a mark of maturity, in men and women, that is sexy beyond my ability to capture with words.

I take it as a matter of maturity, too. I understand that society, unfortunately, shows many boys and men that being stoic is the way to seem strong or tough. However, in my opinion, it’s really not the way to be strong. I am so much more reassured by someone’s strength if I see them face a trial, struggle and fight through it vs simply acting like they were never impacted at all. It comes off as not caring about anything and as a submissive I need to know that my Dom cares deeply about me, so he needs to be capable of caring deeply in general. 

Additionally, I can’t be as emotionally intimate with someone if they are holding back from showing their full selves with me. The more real and open he is with me, the more I feel I can trust him and that lets me be more submissive towards him. For me, emotional intimacy only works if it’s on both sides.