magicwandsworth:

bladetiger:

ceruleancynic:

jumpingjacktrash:

kosmonauttihai:

rollerskatinglizard:

ceekari:

stayhungry-stayfree:

This is a really helpful page in my CBT textbook for tackling some of the maladaptive beliefs we often hold. The first column lists the rules and assumptions we often may tell ourselves, while the second column is a more functional belief. Just thought I would pass this along. Be kind to yourselves, friends❤

Oh my god, number 5. And 6, and 7.

I frigging needed that.

Failure is not a permanent condition.

The text on the image:

1. Maladaptive belief: 

   If I don’t do as well as others, I’m a failure.
   More functional belief:

   If I don’t do as well as others, I’m not a failure, just human.

2. Maladaptive belief:  If I ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness.
   More functional belief: If I ask for help when I need it, I’m showing good problem-solving abilities (which is a sign of strength).
3. Maladaptive belief:  If I fail at work/school, I’m a failure as a person.
   More functional belief:

   If I fail at work/school, it’s not a reflection of my whole self. (My whole self includes how I am as a friend, daughter, sister, relative, citizen, and community member, and my qualities of kindness, sensitivity to others, helpfulness, etc.) Also, failure is not a permanent condition.

4. Maladaptive belief:  I should be able to excel at everything I try.
   More functional belief: I shouldn’t be able to excel at something unless I am gifted in that area (and am willing and able to devote considerable time and effort toward it at the expense of other things.
5. Maladaptive belief:  I should always work hard and do my best.
   More functional belief: I should put in a reasonable amount of effort much of the time.
6. Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t live up to my potential, I have failed.
   More functional belief: If I do less than my best, I have succeeded perhaps 70%, 80%, or 90%; not 0%.
7. Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll fail.
   More functional belief:

   If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll probably do reasonably well and have a more balanced life.

#6 is the one that tripped me up for such a long time. until eventually there came a time when i just kind of snapped and it was like – you know what? fuck my potential.

what even IS ‘potential’ and what counts as ‘living up to it’? that’s honestly such bullshit. it doesn’t even mean anything. it was just a way for adults to demand more than i wanted to give them, and it only got stuck in my head because they hammered that button so damn often.  and that’s their problem, not mine.

i don’t know or care what my ‘potential’ was or is. i care what i want from life and how to get it. and if what i want from life is quiet time with cats and spouse, not visible achievements, then that’s what i’m going to have. i don’t need to point to a shelf of trophies (or college degrees, or money, or sexual conquests, or nobel fucking prizes) to justify my existence. it doesn’t need to be justified! it just is! i’m alive and i’m going to be happy, and if other people aren’t satisfied with my happiness, well, they played themselves by believing they have a vote.

i feel so free. 😀

ALL OF THIS.

@jumpingjacktrash Thank you. This was exactly what I needed to see today.

3, 5 and 6.

Thank you for posting this, I need to think about it some more.