My sir has suddenly done a 180 on me and I’m very scared. He used to consider my opinions and treat me as his girlfriend and his sub. Now I’m just a sub. He wants to decide how I dress, how my hair should be cut, what I eat and who I talk to. I loved being owned but now I feel trapped. He also has been ignoring safe words and forcing me to do things in my hard limits and my red zone. I love him but I just don’t know what to do. Sorry to bother you, I just don’t know what to do

toodomforyou:

Anon-
I’m not going to mince words: leave him ASAP.

Abusive people are able to get away with being abusive people because they usually aren’t abusive right off the bat. They sucker us in with kindness and honeyed words. They make sure we see the best in them and believe that about them before they show us their worst. It’s classic abusive behavior.

I know you love him. We often do love our abusive partners. Our brains focus on the positive things they used to do, or even things that they may still do, and filter out the negatives. You convince yourself that staying is better than the alternative.

It isn’t.

I don’t know any other way to say it than this: you are in danger and you need to leave.

Sudden drastic changes in behavior like this are signs that your dom isn’t stable or trustworthy, and he is abusing you and raping you by ignoring your withdrawal of consent in the form of a safeword. This is a dangerous situation and the longer you stay, the worse it is likely to get.

Find a trusted friend, a family member, even a shelter that can give you a place to go. Just don’t be there anymore. Please.

My personal blog is lovemysub.tumblr.com and if you need to talk this out I urge you to message me there, it will be 100% confidential. But please whatever you do, don’t stay with this guy and let him put you in harm’s way.

Sending love and light your way, anon. Let me know if I can help in any way.

-LMS