It’s hard talking to other people about kinky junk because my partner and I don’t technically have a safeword, per se. We don’t engage in con noncon or anything like that, so just ‘no,’ ‘wait,’ ‘stop,’ even just an uncomfortable noise is enough of a cue for us to halt. THOSE are our safewords, but people act like we ‘must not really be doing kinky stuff’ because we aren’t calling out something like ‘cranberry!!’ Like, buddy. 😒 Wtf.

instructor144:

toodomforyou:

toodomforyou:

That’s the thing, anon. For you, “no” or “stop” ARE your safewords.

If it helps, I’ve been in this lifestyle for going on 13 years now and @belovedsangi and I don’t have “safewords” either, because, like you, we don’t do CNC, so “no”, “stop” or “red” are safewords for us too.

A safeword can be literally anything. And yeah, when most people think of it, they think of “purple banana” or something, but “no” is the most common safeword in the BDSM world because the majority of practitioners do not, in fact, do CNC.

Don’t let anyone else tell you what your kink should look like, anon.

-LMS

Echoing this! I’ve never really had a stereotypical safeword – my safeword has always been “stop.” Because while I might whine or struggle or shake my head, “stop” is my definitive word for no longer consenting.

Safewords can be something like “tangerine,” but they don’t have to be. All that matters is that it’s a word that both partners recognize as a word that stops all activity.

-SD

Great discussion ^^^.  The money shot: “ All that matters is that it’s a word that both partners recognize as a word that stops all activity.”